As I partied with my dad I felt cool. This must have been a great thing. After all, my dad let me drink at the age of nine.
At the age of 11, I found I had to drink more to feel like I fit in with the family habitat. Without drinking I did not belong. At the age of 12, life was anguish.
I found I hated getting sick and hugging the john all night. And, of course, I suffered daily hangovers. I wanted to stop. I even used all my will power to not pick up. But I just could stop the cycle of drink, drunk, sick, drink, drunk, sick. I hated sitting at home most of the time alone and angry. It was so degrading to know that my parents could have helped me didn't bother to do so. At the age of 13 I landed in an all girl's group home feeling abandoned and scared. Even though I couldn't drink for 4 years, I craved to do so badly.
On my 17th birthday I was released to go home. I was set free!
Soon there after, I ran to my old friend King Alcohol. Since then I have been married four times and divorced three times. I have searched for all the answers. I just didn't know what the questions were. Buy by the Grace of God, at the age of 52 I can say that all the bad in my childhood has been turned into good. And I now realize in my mind, heart and spirit, that I am now a good person. I have found my answers.
It took jail, drug court, jail, rehab, 12 Steps and an out patient aftercare program for over a year for me to be able to clear my mind about 4 truths.
One - Drinking wasn't my friend.
Two - I absolutely don't need anyone but God to validate my existence.
Three - I have an invaluable Lizard Tale that will help those of all,
ages who are searching and hurting.
Four - Now I know my own worth. I know I am valuable!
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Hi! I am Cindy Lizard. My Lizard Tales are stories of recovery & restoration. Why not join the Lizard Gang by submitting your story? Cindy will write it and get the artwork. She would love to hear from you! Enjoy the reads & please share our tales on Facebook,Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.